Manners On My Mind

Please. Thank You. No thank you. You're welcome. Excuse me. I'm sorry.

Manners. Where have they disappeared to? It seems that the use of manners, these days, is few and far between. It's sad, really. But don't get me wrong- I know there are plenty of people in our big world that still use manners, thankfully.

Nonetheless, manners have been on my mind lately. I'm not sure why exactly- but since this is my blog, the place where I share my thoughts, I'm sharing with you. You're welcome. {See my use of manners there?}

I was raised in a family with a mom and a dad (and extended family, too) who expected me to use my manners regularly. You know, the type of family where if you were heard asking for something without saying "please," they immediately interjected, "PLEASE" at a relatively loud tone.

I want to insert a funny story here, quickly. One time, if I remember correctly, my siblings and I were in the minivan in my grandparents' neighborhood. My brother had said something sassy to which my mom replied, "Where are your manners?" Without hesitation, he quickly responded, "At the stop sign." I thought this was hysterical at the time (we were little kids) but my mom was obviously not pleased by his smart remark. His reply really doesn't make any sense, but he did, rather quickly, find an answer to her question.

I digress. Moving back on track...

Manners, when it comes down to it, are mere words. But when these words are used, I believe it reflects a person's character. A character that demonstrates respect for others, gratitude and affection. Manners, in my opinion, are not and never will be outdated or old-fashioned.

In my classroom during the school year, I'll occasionally bring in a snack or pass out a treat. I usually have a handful of students who gladly accept the snack, but neglect to say thank you. Or some will say, "I don't like that." This immediately turns into a teachable moment of manners, even if I just gave the same "pep talk" last week. I know they're kids, but they're fifth graders. They can at least learn to make please and thank-you part of their everyday vocabulary. I know many of my students are lacking the support of parents at home in many capacities, and manners are probably not made a priority. In my classroom, I strive to keep manners a priority.

There are also people in the workplace or people you see in the store making demands or failing to notice an effort on someone else's part. They forget to say such simple, one/two syllable words such as please and thank-you. My opinion? It's so tacky. It's childish. Toddlers who still are incapable of clearly communicating make demands to meet their needs by making noises or whining. They don't know yet how to ask and say please. At the same time, toddlers are too young to notice when someone else makes an effort to help them in some way, in which I believe they are "forgiven" for neglecting to say thank-you.

On that note, I would like to add (although I haven't been humbled yet in the experience of motherhood, but God willing, some day I will!) that with good parenting, children, from an early age, can be raised using manners. I have seen toddlers who don't speak in full sentences yet, mutter "please" and "thank-you." With consistent practice with parents, children begin to learn and associate the word "please" with an action, in the same way they recognize an action in which they respond with "thank-you." Manners can be learned early on in life, just like crawling, walking, talking, etc.

In an age where everything is so fast-paced and technology-driven, manners seem to be used less and less. People are too busy, they forget, the world is so laid back now, it doesn't hurt anyone.....excuses. Not truth. I think the use of manners makes people feel appreciated, noticed, and respected. Choosing not to use manners is rude.

I said it. Yes, I did. Choosing not to use manners is rude.

How many of us remember when we were kids and we'd leave the house to go out with a friend and her mom or dad, and our mom or dad would remind us before walking out the door, "Don't forget to use your manners!" I do. I'm glad they always reminded me. It's stuck with me.

Manners need to come back in full-force. Manners go beyond words, but they're also represented by our actions. Let's not settle for mediocrity in our manners, but use them to the fullest extent to show respect to others on a daily basis!